Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
