get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
