She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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