i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my being single is dangerous.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize