Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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