doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize