he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize