it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
