i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
