my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
