highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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