She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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