Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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