How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
did i walk over a car last night?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
