just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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