Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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