how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
