i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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