I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Send help, water and tortillas.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
