3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize