Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
