remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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