Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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