Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize