I just made out with a guy for $7.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
