things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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