why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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