The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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