So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
