we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize