Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
