its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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