When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize