Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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