do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
