More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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