the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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