when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
