I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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