Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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