even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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