I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
