I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
