Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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