you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
