have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
