He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
