every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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