Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
