Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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