I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
this boner is exhausting
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize