How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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