Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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