She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
