I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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