Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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