I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
