in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
