I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
