I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
