I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
