When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You smell like stripper and shame
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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