just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
