And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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