dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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