So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
