And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
